The Best Advice I Ever Got

One of the most promising signs I see in new massage therapists is when they ask for advice. Not just about technique or business, but the kind of wisdom that only comes from experience—the lessons we learn not just from textbooks, but from trial, error, and reflection.

So if you’re starting out, or if you’ve been in this field for a while and need a reset, here are four core truths I’ve come to live by. They’ve changed the way I practice—and maybe they’ll shift something for you too.

1. Depth should feel like a marble sinking into honey.

Too often, “deep tissue” gets equated with brute force. But true depth isn’t about pressure—it’s about patience. Sink into the tissue, don’t slam into it. Let your contact settle. Think of a marble easing its way through warm honey: steady, intentional, unhurried. Start shallow, listen, and let the body invite you deeper.

2. Touch with your whole hand—and your whole presence.

It might sound simple, but I used to lift a few fingers off the body when I worked. I didn’t even realize I was doing it. Your clients are paying you for touch—so give it to them. Stay grounded. Stay connected. Engage all of your digits, and use both hands with purpose. Explore the full range of techniques, from vibration to tapotement. Even when one hand is “supporting,” it should still be in meaningful contact.

3. Not much, but not nothing.

This one came from a Craniosacral continuing ed course, and it was a total paradigm shift. Light touch—a nickel’s worth of pressure—may not feel like “much,” but to the nervous system, it can feel like everything. When a client says, “I don’t feel anything,” that doesn’t mean nothing’s happening. It means they’re not used to tuning in at that level. And maybe we as therapists aren’t used to holding that kind of subtle, powerful space.

So teach them. Show them. Keep learning yourself. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking more pressure means more effectiveness. Stay curious, stay humble, and challenge your assumptions.

4. Pressure is just one part of the equation.

Pressure is easy to talk about. It’s what most clients request. It’s what many instructors emphasize. But the quality of your touch is shaped by so much more: speed, rhythm, magnitude, repetition, direction, frequency. Think like a musician. Pressure might be volume—but what about tempo? Tone? Texture?

To become a truly skilled therapist, you have to train all aspects of your touch. Don’t just turn up the pressure—learn how to fine-tune the entire experience.

We all have something valuable to share—whether we’ve been in practice for 30 years or 30 days. Keep asking questions. Keep offering what you know. This work is a dialogue, not a monologue. And the more we share, the more we grow—together.

Peace and Healing,

Kirby Clark Ellis, MTI, BCTMB