Three Things To Empower You

At the heart of every massage session should be one thing: you!

Your comfort, your voice, and your experience matter deeply and that means you should always feel empowered before, during, and after your session. In my practice, I hold space for your autonomy and safety above all else. That’s not just something nice to say— it’s a commitment!

These are just three essential ways you can feel empowered as a client in any massage therapy setting. These aren’t just tips; they’re rights you have in the treatment room.

1. You Are Empowered to Ask Questions

Too often in healthcare settings, it can feel like your questions are brushed aside or there’s simply no time to ask them. You're rushed through a consult, given a vague explanation of diagnosis and treatment, and left wondering what just happened.

That’s not how it works here.

In massage therapy, we have the luxury of time. Time to slow down. Time to get curious. Time to make sure you feel informed and involved in your own care.

You never need to feel unsure or in the dark during your session. Wondering why a certain technique is being used? Want to know what to expect from a particular type of pressure? Curious about the benefits of an add-on like cupping or hot stones?

Ask away! No question is too small or too obvious.

You are encouraged to ask questions. About the treatment plan, about what I’m doing and why, about how you might feel afterward, about self-care in between sessions- even about me and my training- if that helps you feel more comfortable.

You don’t have to worry about sounding silly or “asking too much.” You deserve answers—and even when I don’t have a clear one, I’ll tell you that honestly. I won’t make something up to sound smart or give you a sugarcoated response that doesn’t serve you. What I will do is work with you to figure things out—whether that means adapting our plan, offering education, or pointing you toward the right resources.

Example: You might ask,

 “What will this technique help with?”,

“Can you explain what you mean?”,

“Is there anything I can do between sessions to help this tension?”

Or even, “Is it normal to feel emotional during a massage?”

The answer might be simple. Or complex. Or a collaborative process. Whatever the case, asking questions is part of your care—and it’s always, always welcome here.

As your therapist, I’m here to support your understanding and comfort—not to impress you with jargon or rush through your care. When you ask questions, you’re advocating for yourself—and that’s something I fully support.

2. You Are Empowered to Set Boundaries

Let’s be real: a lot of people are used to overriding their own boundaries—especially in healthcare settings. They’ve been conditioned to “go along with it,” to avoid making things awkward, to be the “easy” patient or client.

But here? You get to take up space. You get to have preferences. You get to say no.

Your body, your rules. Every massage should be grounded in clear and respectful boundaries. That means you get to decide what feels safe and comfortable for you—without judgment or coercion.

Setting boundaries in massage therapy might mean leaving certain clothes on, asking not to be touched in a certain area, or choosing silence over conversation. It might mean saying, “Actually, I don’t feel comfortable with that technique,” or, “Please avoid that spot today.” All of which is perfectly fine.

And when you say those things—I don’t take offense. I take direction.

Example: You might say:

“I’d like to leave my sports bra on.”,

“Please skip the feet today—I’m not comfortable with that.”,

Or “I know I agreed to work on my glutes, but I’ve changed my mind.”

That’s not a disruption. That’s exactly what’s supposed to happen when you feel safe enough to advocate for yourself.

As a therapist, I will never pressure you to remove more clothing, stay silent about discomfort, or go along with anything that doesn’t feel right. I treat every boundary you set as a cue to adjust—not to explain away or ignore.

I will never work on any area you haven’t explicitly agreed to, and I’ll adapt the session to meet your boundaries—no questions asked. Your "no" is respected just as much as your "yes".

Your boundaries are valid the moment you express them. Full stop.

3. You Are Empowered to Change Your Mind

Consent isn’t a one-time thing. It’s an ongoing conversation. Just because you agreed to something at intake doesn’t mean you’re locked into it.

You are always allowed to change your mind.

You might realize halfway through that a certain area feels more vulnerable than you expected. You might be more uncomfortable than you thought and want to end early. You might decide that today isn’t the day for deep pressure—or any pressure at all. That’s okay. That’s human.

Example:You might say,

“Can we pause for a minute?”

Or, “I’m starting to feel overwhelmed—can we stop early?”

Or even, “I know I said cupping sounded good, but I don’t want to try it today.”

You won’t be made to feel guilty or like you’ve messed up the session. This is your body, your time, and your session. It can flex to meet you where you are today—even if where you are looks different than when you first walked in.

My job isn’t to hold you to a plan. It’s to support your well-being in real time—and sometimes that means pivoting. Empowerment means flexibility. Whether you want to end the session early, skip a planned technique, or decline a last-minute add-on— you’re allowed to shift course at any time.

Your changing needs are not an inconvenience. They’re a reflection of your self-awareness—and honoring them is part of my job. Self-awareness leads to self-efficacy, and self-efficacy is where healing actually takes place.

Autonomy and Safety Are Paramount

Every aspect of your massage should be built around choice and communication. That’s the foundation of ethical and trauma-informed care. You deserve to feel seen, heard, and respected.

You don’t need to earn the right to speak up. You already have it.

If something is unclear, let’s talk. If something feels off, we’ll stop. If you need to adjust how we work together, I’ll follow your lead—always. (and be there to provide guidance as necessary)

You are the expert on your body. My role is to support you, not direct you. The more you feel empowered to speak up, the more effective, peaceful, and healing our work can be— because it’s done with you, not to you.

So next time you’re on the table, remember:

You can ask.

You can set boundaries.

You can change your mind.

And I’ll be right there, ready to listen. To your body. And your voice.

Accompanying Vlog:

Peace and Healing,

Kirby Clark Ellis, MTI, BCTMB